I'm coming out of the sandbox
You'll get covered in dog doo
I'm gonna get off this seesaw
Say goodbye to your mama
Oh yeah
Let's get high on some pop rock
Pop rock and coke
I'll blow your sock off, teach how
To laugh at daddy's dirty jokes

Don't hedge your bets, double down
If you want to get ahead in Tinsel Town
Turn that smile upside down
Happy people don't have sex
Now, Robbie, everybody swings both ways
From the butchest, the bandits
The fairest, the faggots
And singers with everything they need
Everybody swings both ways
Face it, Robbie, you're a little bit gay
Shall we dance?

I'm getting hot on the pavement
Can you find me some grass?
I have a certain arrangement
Up the Khyber Pass
Oh yeah, let's get high with some fruit cake
Fruit cake and tea
And after I've done her
Well you can do me
Oh boy

Don't hedge your bets, double down
If you want to get ahead in Tinsel Town
Just follow me you enormous clown
Clever people don't have sex
Now, Rufus, everybody swings both ways
The bully, the bigot,
The giant, the midget
And singers with everything they need
Everybody swings both ways
Face it, Rufus, you're a tad gay
Oh yeah?
Face it, Robbie,
Uh huh?
You're a little bit gay