C  D  Em  D/F#  G

G                        C
I don't like poodles and popery
D                   G
pastel colors ain't good on me
C              G
i want a woman i can squeez
D                       D7
these are things that i believe


G                     C
I like John Wayne and overalls
D                       G
i hate chick flicks and shopping malls
C                G
I thank God that i've got balls
D                       D7
a pickup truck, a texas drawl


G                        C
I don't like flowers and fancy wear
D                        G
or talking on that phone all the time
C                         G
i don't like nothin' near my behind
D                        D7
it's an exit it suits me fine, oh

C                   D               G     
these are all those reasons i ain't queer
C                  D                G
(these are all the reasons he ain't queer)

G                     C
i think two holes are better than one
D              G
if you ask me, that's more fun
C               G
getting out and then i'm done
D                             D7
two guys kissin would make me run


G                     C
I don't like sex on a foo foo bed
D                          G
I don't wanna dance with a guy named Fred
C                 G
i did it once my face turned red
D                                D7 
you saw the tape - enoughs been said


G                  C
All my buddies, we like to drink
D                      G
watching fights at the hockey rink
C                  G
you won't catch me wearing pink
D                                         D7
i like the fact that my dick don't stink, oh

C                   D               G     
these are all those reasons i ain't queer

C               D               Em
Don't be poking nothing near my rear, yeah
C                   D              
these are all the reasons
C                D
the crazy cookoo reasons
C             D               G
these are the reasons i ain't queer