G                               C
If you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight
D                              C     D      G
You've got all the makings of my future ex-wife
G                                             C
I've got three bucks my credit sucks and my future don't look too bright
            D                             C        D       G
so if you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight


      Em                   C
Some call me a loser and a lazy no-good slob
             Em
I've lost my house, I've got no car
    D
and I can't keep a job
         C                         D
but I've got a big heart, and another part
         Em
Take me home you'll understand
C               D           C      D        G
Because my genitalia looks like a pringles can


        C               D             Em
If you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight
    C               D                  C         D     
    G
and when I pull my pants down, hey you won't believe i'm white
     G                                           C
and it's been said that I'm mister ed, but don't worry I won't bite
        D                             C        D      G
if you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight

      Em
Some call me dishonest
          C
And they say I'm just lying
    Em
But I've peed next to old john holmes and
D (let ring)
He started crying.
      C            D
On a sunny day, I've got it made
     Em (let ring)
Get under my wiener if you need shade


       C                D              C        D    
 G
If you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight
       C                D              C        D    
 G
If you play your cards wrong, you can take me home tonight