The words are so familiar
All the same greats, the same mistakes
It doesn't have to be like this
If you don't make a friend, now
One might make you

So learn
The gentle art of making enemies
Don't you look so surprised
Happy birthday, fucker
Blow that candle out
We're gonna kick you, kick you

Don't say you're not because you are
Don't say you're not because you are
History tells us that you are
History tells us that you are

Well all you need is just one more excuse
You put up one hell of a fight
You put up one hell of a fight
I wanna hear your very best excuse
I've never felt this much alive
I've never felt this much alive

Your day has finally come
So wear the hat and do the dance
And let the suit keep wearing you
This year you'll sit and take it
And you will like it
It's the gentle art of making enemies
I deserve a reward
Cuz I'm the best fuck that you ever had
And if I tighten up my hole

You may never see the light again
There's always an easy way out
There's always an easy way out
You need something wet in your mouth
You need something wet in your mouth

Then all you need is just one more excuse
You put up one hell of a fight
You put up one hell of a fight
I wanna hear your very best excuse
I've never felt this much alive
I've never felt this much alive